tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post2137951695322634028..comments2023-04-17T10:24:33.779-04:00Comments on Robot Lovers Prey on the Lonely: Me and My Boi: Not Just HairAnnabeth Leonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-47063431025550394772016-06-17T14:17:57.935-04:002016-06-17T14:17:57.935-04:00Hi there! You know, I wasn't aware of anything...Hi there! You know, I wasn't aware of anything unusual about my reaction to your haircut, but I do have very strong feelings about the importance of haircuts, it's true.<br /><br />I'm really big into people feeling whatever emotions we need to feel, and being responsible about the reactions we have to them. Writing is a good place for all of that. I work out so much this way. <br /><br />Not to get into who's judged more harshly than who, but there are definitely a ton of negative stereotypes about bisexuality, and some really disturbing statistics about mental health in people who identify as bisexual, sexual violence against bisexual women, etc. I think many people are uncomfortable with any identity that isn't easy to explain in a single word. Certain kinds of queerness, genderqueerness, etc.<br /><br />I eventually sorted out an accurate way of describing my attractions, but it takes a sentence. :)<br /><br />That said, I'm far from having this all figured out. Thanks for the congratulations, and for reading this!Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-6280704850173881572016-06-17T07:38:10.825-04:002016-06-17T07:38:10.825-04:00No wonder you said what you did when I told you I ...No wonder you said what you did when I told you I had an appointment with my hairdresser!<br /><br />I've had a lifelong struggle with anger, repressing it, feeling I have a right to get /be angry without being "punished" for feeling the emotion, learning how to channel it in a productive way. I haven't been writing long enough to even think about using it in writing, although you've given me something to think about. Since all my stories so far are fairly short, I've never gone into major conflicts that involve anger, but it is certainly powerful. And I've paid attention to biphobia for a long time. I've always said bisexuality is the red-haired step-child of the world, more harshly judged than anyone else (until transgender gained a lot of attention, at least). Sigh. Congratulations on continuing to learn how to understand and accept and love yourself--a lifelong journey for most of us.CeCe Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08752020068967960333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-11981246567794096252016-06-14T11:12:07.463-04:002016-06-14T11:12:07.463-04:00Thanks for coming by!
The big thing I find about ...Thanks for coming by!<br /><br />The big thing I find about a relatively radical hairstyle is that there's no hiding it. I've always had ways of "passing," and it takes some of that away, which I wanted. I like how that feels.<br /><br />And yes, especially recently, I've been feeling really aware of the dangers of being LGBTQIA+ in this world. I had/have a lot of fear of being myself, with good reason. I've encountered my own share of bias and trouble, and I've witnessed horrors inflicted on so many others. It really upsets me when people minimize that. Now, more than ever, we need to do whatever we can to make the world more inclusive.<br /><br />I hope you love the book!Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-43088399049086279132016-06-14T00:34:27.485-04:002016-06-14T00:34:27.485-04:00Wonderful post, Annabeth. I particularly liked you...Wonderful post, Annabeth. I particularly liked your description of how your new haircut changed your feelings about your self. Something like hair can be a potent symbol, a sort of external barometer to your internal sense of emotional pressure. To adopt a style that might be viewed as radical or confrontational also takes a certain kind of courage.<br /><br />Although LGBTQ has become more accepted and public in the past decade, that seems to carry its own dangers. Instead of being more or less invisible as lesbians once were, all at once the spotlight is on non-het behavior and feelings. There are social norms and the pressure to conform to them (There's that word, "pressure", again.) You can't just be yourself because the whole world is watching and of course, judging.<br /><br />I can't wait to read this book!Lisabet Saraihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162514190572269660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-27161718897448917732016-06-13T15:47:05.409-04:002016-06-13T15:47:05.409-04:00Thanks for reading this Spencer.
I think I'v...Thanks for reading this Spencer. <br /><br />I think I've said this to you before, but there's a need for balance with respect to anger. While there are certainly people who need to tone down an out of control anger that they feel entitled to, there are also people who have been taught never to feel or acknowledge anger, for whom it is healthy to become fluent in an important part of one's inner emotional language. I have lived through very untenable situations because I did not feel able to recognize my own anger about what was happening to me. So it is frustrating to me, as a person who has spent a lot of time and thought and therapy trying to recover my ability to feel a vital human emotion, to be chided and warned when I mention it. It has been important for me to see that I can trust myself around anger. My reactions to it are to pay attention to the information it's giving me, to write things, to talk to people, to remain my compassionate self but also with a sense of what hurts me or people I love or care about. I think people are very weird about anger in our culture, and it's a problem. We conflate the emotion with having a bad reaction to the emotion, and that's just not correct. It doesn't make sense to try to completely suppress a feeling, and yet I frequently get that message when I try to talk about anger as a positive force (which for me it has been). <br /><br />The thing you said about gender dysphoria doesn't make sense. My understanding is that this term refers to a feeling of distress that comes about when one's gender identity does not match the gender assigned at birth. There's debate, I think, about the usefulness of this as a diagnosis, but not in the way you suggest here. <br /><br />When people tell a bisexual person that their bisexuality is a phase, that's about sexual orientation, not gender identity. (It's also not cool.) I would call that biphobia. Annabeth Leonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455191827664110878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4202685677414693804.post-53312181109143594222016-06-13T14:06:18.354-04:002016-06-13T14:06:18.354-04:00Anabeth:
Thanks for sharing. Very insightful. I th...Anabeth:<br />Thanks for sharing. Very insightful. I think anger and or rage is a great place to write from but not a great place to be. Recently I came across a dismissive term for that period you mentioned about-it- "being just a phase"-gender dysphoria. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484640447109164744noreply@blogger.com