Stories I've Enjoyed: "Time On His Hands" by D. Mark Alderton

Circlet Press regularly puts up free speculative flash erotica. Case in point: D. Mark Alderton's "Time On His Hands." It's about a time-traveling professor who is looking for the perfect woman:

“I started out with the most famous women in history. But they were disappointing. Cleopatra was young and nubile, but too kinky for my tastes.”
“Kinky?”
“Yes, she was only interested in asp play."

"Asp play" totally cracked me up. The whole story is funny like that.