Not Just Anyone -- An Excerpt

Tod (the German word for death) can sense when a person is about to die. He doesn't use his powers for good--not particularly. Instead, he uses them for personal gratification. My story, "Less Than a Day," out now as an e-book from Forbidden Fiction, is about the encounter that shakes him out of his typical pattern. Tod can't ignore the woman he chooses on this night, and he finds himself wishing for the love that his one-night encounters deny him. Here's an excerpt:

“Do you know anything about how I’m going to die?”

“No.”

“Then I think I’m done talking. My room’s around the corner to the left. Go take off your clothes and get in my bed. I’ll be in as soon as I clean up the tea.”

He almost offered to do it for her. Instead, he shook his head and did as she asked. He stroked himself slowly as he waited, idly reading the titles on her bookshelf. He felt her books must have all been gifts— they formed no cohesive picture of her.

She came in and paused in the doorway. “You look hot like that,” she said. “Do people say that a lot?”

His hand stilled on his cock. “I don’t think they usually care.”

“I do. I wouldn’t want my last fuck to be just anyone.” She nodded toward his cock. “Don’t let me stop you.”

She stepped closer to the bed when he resumed stroking and pulled her dress up over her head. Her motions were slow and deliberate, but not lewd. Despite himself, he held his breath waiting for a glimpse of her nipples. She hadn’t been wearing a bra. They popped out of the tight
dress, dark and pointy, and he moaned in the back of his throat.

“You want me.” She sounded surprised.

“Of course I do,” he said. “Come here.”

She stepped toward him before she’d gotten the dress off all the way. Her face still hidden in it, she shrieked when he pulled her down beside him and started biting those nipples. He let her struggle with the dress as he sucked and bit. He had her nipples poking out obscenely from each of her tits, her hips rolling against him.

"Less Than a Day" is my first story out with Forbidden Fiction, but I have several more with them on the way. I've been really digging the chance to let loose with my darker side. Keep on eye on their story catalog for those pieces, as well as the other great work appearing there.

Disturbing Murmurings

I have been hearing murmurings for a while about issues with PayPal, credit cards, and various types of erotica. The more taboo forms always seem to get the focus, such as sites that sell pseudo-incest, non consent or dub con, and similar things. At some point, I want to research this more extensively, since I find it hard to form a picture of what's really going on.

But in the meantime, I wanted to call attention to this post from about a week ago, which outlines recent troubles with PayPal and Excessica books, All Romance eBooks, Bookstrand, and others.

Lacking a thorough analysis, the main thing I'm getting is that writers of erotica are extremely vulnerable to this conservative trend from payment companies. Anyone who writes or reads the genre should keep an eye on this.

The Three Wives of Bluebeard

The Bluebeard myth has always been one of my favorites. It's so vivid in my imagination: the gloom and emptiness of a rich, abandoned house; a secret that burns to be uncovered; the rage of the man who buried the secret.

I've done a retelling that will be coming out from Forbidden Fiction--my longest piece for them yet. It's a lesbian threesome ghost story (so exciting to write that description). It's called "The Three Wives of Bluebeard," and I'll post an excerpt and more details when they're available.

The Big Fantasy Setup

A big reason there's a stigma to sexual fantasies is that a lot of times when they come up, people are encouraged to lie. It's only in the privacy of our own masturbation that we really feel free to let loose.

Once you see a few of these "encouraged to lie" situations, or end up in one yourself, you wind up gunshy about revealing the truth of your sexual experience and desires. I think all the time about an example I encountered when I was pretty young. This was just a show I saw on TV, but it deeply affected me, making me feel dirty about myself for years to follow.

Some women discussed sexual fantasies on a talk show--I can't remember which one. It was set up like a slumber party. The women were chilling out, wearing pajamas, eating chocolate, and chatting "intimately" for their enormous TV audience.

I vividly remember the part where the host asked them about sexual fantasies--with a therapist present, mind you. The women began describing scenes of bathtubs, candles, and massage. "That's good," the therapist cooed. "Why do you say that?" asked one of the women, obviously nervous. I guess she hadn't known her fantasies would be graded. "Well," said the therapist (and I paraphrase), "a lot of women fantasize about rape and things like that. I'm glad none of you are doing that. Maybe it means society is moving forward. It's good to hear these nice, healthy fantasies."

My paraphrase may be unfair--it's been decades, so I'm sure I don't remember the therapist's exact words. However, the paraphrase is true to the message I took away from seeing the show.

And when, lo and behold, I found I had rape fantasies, I knew thanks to the show that these were a sign that I hadn't moved forward with the rest of society. I had the kind of fantasies that would not make her glad, by God. I felt ashamed of myself.

Now, aside from that unfortunate outcome, which I'm sure wasn't just me, I also question whether those women on the show were telling the truth. My experience with fantasies is that when I'm talking about them, I test the waters. I tell a "nice" fantasy, and if the other person doesn't freak out, I step it up a notch, just a little bit.

Believe me, I would never whip out my fantasy of being pierced in seven places on my body as part of a dark sex magic ritual without plenty of assurance that the other person is going to be cool with hearing this. (It's actually easier on a blog than in person, because generally in person the listener is wondering if I'm about to ask them to pull out the stainless steel needles).

My strong suspicion is that the therapist on the show jumped the gun. If the women at the slumber party were reassured and drawn out to deeper levels of expression, I bet they would have come up with much racier stuff. My evidence for this? Just check out Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, or any other book devoted to collecting actual sexual fantasies, rather than socially acceptable ones.

Music Mondays: "Settle Down" by Kimbra

"It's time to bring you down--on just one knee for now. Let's make our vows."
--Kimbra



This song is both sexy and creepy, and I can't stop listening to it. The video is certainly a mix of both, but the song itself is, too. I worried at first about playing it at home because I didn't want my partner to get creeped out by it, or take it as some kind of weird hint.

Sexy factors:
--Kimbra. Seriously. Her voice, her eyes, her hair, her goth tea party dress.
--The song has a strong air of longing.
--The song has a really girlie vibe that wins me over and comes off kind of hot.

Creepy factors:
--The little girls playing dress-up, the mannequin, the dolls on fire. Pretty much everything about the video.
--The lyrics. "On just one knee for now"? Really? When does he go down on two knees, and what gets him there?
--The childhood marriage fantasy this conjures. The disappointed, trapped adult reality it alludes to.

The combination of all of the above makes for a great song. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Kimbra.

Turn Off the TV So You Can Get Laid

TV gets blamed for lots of things--making us fat, keeping us from connecting with our families, and generally making us stupid. But only recently did it occur to me that it also gets in the way of getting laid.

Here's my evidence. In a previous, unhappy relationship, my partner and I watched seasons and seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dr. Who, Quantum Leap, Firefly, and who knows what all. The big exciting thing was to come home to a new envelope from Netflix, or get a boxed set as a gift and work our way through it.

Sex felt like a big event, a thing that would take a long time. We'd have had to stay up late, or get dirty and have to shower or something--never mind that we'd be up late all the time watching movies.

I've taken an informal poll of a few friends and heard similar stories about Battlestar Galactica and Friday Night Lights and other super-long episodic shows.

What really made me notice, though, is that in the happier relationships I've had since then (which feature a whole lot more sex), I've watched barely any TV at all. And I love Joss Whedon and all, but I prefer sex, thanks.

Could a Werewolf Last Till Dawn?

There's an old Greek myth that the way to cure lycanthropy is to completely exhaust the werewolf. What's more exhausting than a long session of wild, rough sex? And anyone trying to employ this cure would probably need to strap the werewolf down... securely.

That's the seed of my story, "The Arcadian Cure." It will appear in a forthcoming shifter anthology from Breathless Press, called Ravaged.

More details when they're available. At the moment, I need to go find a werewolf who needs to be cured.

Airborne Toxic Event's Slut-Shaming Single

What passes for romantic so often transforms to slut-shaming when you poke at it just a little. There's a song all over the radio that's been driving me crazy this way--All I Ever Wanted by the Airborne Toxic Event.



This song has all the trappings of romance--violins, a calculated yearning tone in the singer's voice, and an air of nostalgic longing. But there's a moment that reveals this song's true misogynist colors:

In the night, you whisper like a ghost and you look so shaken. You're so quiet and small and you tell me you want to be taken. I just never think of you as the kind of girl who would say that. You suddenly seem like some faceless thing in my grasp.
-- Airborne Toxic Event

On the surface, he's just sad--he's surprised that she's not who he thought she was. But when you think about what he's saying, it amounts to, "I thought I was with a nice girl, but it turns out she's just another slut."

What I get from these lyrics is that the woman expresses sexual desire or a sexual fantasy. Maybe she asks him to fuck her hard. Maybe she knows he won't like for her to say it that way, so she says she "wants to be taken," implying rough sex, or sex where he dominates her.

He responds with, "You're not that kind of girl! Are you??" "Kind of girl" is the slut-shaming giveaway here. What "kind of girl" asks to be taken, I wonder? A dirty one? A slutty one? Maybe he's shocked that she's a sub rather than a domme, but I'm really not getting that from the rest of the song.

Now, there's a way to say, "I didn't know you were that kind of girl," which sounds impressed or admiring. Say she rolled onto him and rode him up one side of the bed and down the other and he came harder than he ever knew he could. He might then have said he never thought she was that kind of girl, as in, "I didn't know she had that wild, bestial sexuality in her! That is so awesome!"

But if that were the sentiment, I doubt he would follow with, "You suddenly seem like some faceless thing in my grasp."

This girl's sexual desire has transformed her from a human with whom he's having a love affair to a "faceless thing" described in a repellent fashion.

I looked up slut-shaming to make sure I had the phrase right, and it turned out to apply to what I'm talking about almost exactly. Here's a quote from Finally Feminism 101:

Put in the most simple terms, slut-shaming happens when a person “publicly or privately [insults] a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women” (Kat, Slut-Shaming vs. Rape Jokes). It is enabled by the idea that a woman who carries the stigma of being a slut — ie. an “out-of-control, trampy female” — is “not worth knowing or caring about” (Tanenbaum, p. 240).

This song bothered me for months before I figured out why, and it's because it makes me feel the way the quote above describes. I am the kind of girl who might say I want to be taken. I also might be perceived as a "nice girl" who wouldn't say that--if you caught me under my real name, that is. It's a nightmare to imagine getting up the courage to express the one only to have a guy respond the way he does in this song--especially with that sweet, sensitive romantic tone he affects.

And in the end, it's the tone he uses that offends me most of all. This "nice guy" isn't being nice at all. Or romantic.

The Snake and the Lyre

Belated news about another contract I signed with Forbidden Fiction. "The Snake and the Lyre" is a retelling of the Orpheus story. If you'll recall, the famed musician goes to the underworld to retrieve his dead wife, Eurydice. Hades agrees to let her go, but imposes a condition I've always found strange. He says Orpheus can't turn around to look at Eurydice before they return to the world above.

Similar requirements appear in other stories--such as the biblical story of Lot's escape from Sodom and Gomorrah--but it doesn't make sense to me in the Orpheus story. The obvious symbolism is that you can't escape death while looking toward the past, but that doesn't satisfy me here.

My Forbidden Fiction story grew from an attempt to invent a more satisfying explanation for this mystery. Many of my favorite themes surfaced, particularly my ongoing exploration of the consequences of a high and uncontrollable sex drive.

More details when they're available.

The Accidental Erotic Altruist

I've taken my turn at bat for the Coming Together Share the Love Blog Bash today, over at Beyond Romance. From my post:

A long-standing fantasy of mine served as the foundation for this story. I called it “the bridge fantasy.” I imagined being the conduit through which two others expressed their love for each other. My body would be the canvas, but the sex act would stretch beyond me.

In “The Hunt,” the main character, Nikia, lives this fantasy, offering herself to the goddess Artemis and Theron, a hero who worships her. Artemis will suffer the touch of no man, but she wishes to reward Theron for his devotion. The resulting encounter, excerpted below, is a threesome in which Nikia serves as bridge between man and woman, mortal and immortal.

She’s a real erotic altruist, a messenger you would kiss and kiss again. But, like me, maybe it’s a little by accident. Nikia has plenty of selfish reasons for what she does, and plenty of reasons to think her efforts won’t matter in the end. And now I’m thinking this is how it looks whenever we reach beyond ourselves--we will always appear small and inadequate beside the greater glory of a good cause.

This is followed by an excerpt from "The Hunt," which is my story from Coming Together: As ONE. I'd give you a taste here, but an excerpt of an excerpt is just too meta for me.

Read the rest here, and leave a comment--I'm buying someone a copy of... Spankalicious!

Less Than a Day

My story Less Than a Day launched last night on Forbidden Fiction. Here's the blurb:

Tod is a harbinger of imminent death. He doesn't use his powers for good—instead he offers women a last fuck before they die. Jaded, Tod is surprised when one woman gets to him like no other. The last sex of her life is the best sex of his.

I'll be posting an excerpt and talking a lot more about this story in days to come, but I wanted to get the news up right away rather than waiting for time to write "the perfect post."

I've had a great experience working with Forbidden Fiction so far, and am very grateful for the efforts of all their editors and proofreaders. In particular, I'm appreciative of the lovely cover they produced for my story.

Please check out Less Than a Day, and, while you're at it, browse Forbidden Fiction's other recent releases. I'm in very good company over there.

Spankalicious is out!

Am I going to post the Spankalicious cover again? Hell yeah, I am, in honor of the book having come out. Spankalicious: Erotic Adventures in Spanking, edited by D.L. King, is now available from Ravenous Romance, and all the usual suspects.

My contribution, "A Cure for Excess," is about how hot couple Jesse and Rebecca help Shannon deal with a libido that's previously earned her criticism from her exhausted lovers. Here's an excerpt:

That night, Shannon went to sleep on the sofabed feeling frustrated. Loud moans from the bedroom next door only worsened the situation. The way Rebecca sounded, sex with Jesse led to constant, explosive orgasm. Just a few minutes of that inspired Shannon to push her pajama bottoms and panties down around her ankles and pull out her vibrator. Again.

The vibrator buzzed softly, muffled by Shannon’s blankets and well-hidden below the sound of Rebecca’s moans. But Shannon couldn’t keep herself quiet. She bucked her hips wildly against the vibrator, making the sofabed squeak. She pinched her own nipples and gasped. And when she came, she groaned much more than she intended.

The noises from the bedroom halted. Shannon froze. Her vibrator sounded like a buzzsaw now. The bedroom door creaked open. “Well, well, well,” Jesse said. “What have we got here?”

He stepped out into the living room, light from the bedroom spilling out to illuminate his tall, naked body, and his long, erect cock. Shannon’s mouth watered at the sight of him. Rebecca followed a second later, a blanket wrapped around her slim curves. She leaned in the doorway, smiling, watching Jesse advance on Shannon.

“What are you doing out here?” Jesse asked.

Shannon fumbled to turn off the vibrator, but Jesse yanked the blankets off her before she had a chance to conceal it. He clucked his tongue. “It looks like we’ve got a very naughty houseguest staying with us. A horny girl who can’t keep her hands out of her panties.”

His words set Shannon’s body on fire. She quivered against the inert vibrator, but Jesse noticed even this small motion. “Give that to me.”

Pick up a copy of the anthology to read the rest!

Music Mondays: "Point of No Return" from Phantom of the Opera

"What warm unspoken secrets will we learn beyond the point of no return?"
--The Phantom



I've seen this movie way, way too much, as well as a couple of live versions of the show. In many cases, the live show is often far better than the movie, but I've never this scene done as well as it is in the movie. Fun details to notice: the magically slipping shoulders of Christine's dress, the Phantom's trick of making her touch herself while he caresses her, and Raoul's horrified expression while he watches her melt into the arms of another man.

Music Mondays: "Pride and Joy" by Stevie Ray Vaughan

"She's my sweetie little baby... I'm her little lover boy."
--Stevie Ray Vaughan



I can't believe I haven't posted this one before, considering that it's one of the hottest songs EVAR. Ironically, I first heard it done as a lesbian cover (and, yeah, I totally had a crush on the singer). That's always given it a special place in my heart, and a bit of a different tone.

Listen to that hot guitar and imagine this song is about you...

Stories I've Enjoyed (Coming Together Edition): "Thank God It's Friday" by T. Highwayman

At some point, I realized that a lot of erotica skimps on describing male appearance and experience. My favorite erotic story (which I'll talk about another time) is m/m. For a while, I thought it was my favorite despite the m/m, because of its extreme bdsm. Recently, I re-evaluated. One reason I like it so much is that it contains extended, loving descriptions of cock.

I like cock. I like balls. I like men. (Women, too, but that is also a subject for another time). M/M erotica is obviously good at describing men sensually, but I wish I saw these kinds of descriptions in other places, too.

The story I'm featuring today, "Thank God It's Friday" by T. Highwayman, really aroused me with its focus on cock. I'm not always into masturbation stories (which this is), but this one really makes me understand the appeal of the genre. There's no one else in the picture. I get to be a voyeur. I don't have to compare myself to another person (male or female) playing the role of lover. I can admire, and identify.

The story appeared in Coming Together: By Hand, a collection of masturbation stories that benefits the Coalition for Positive Sexuality.

Here's an excerpt that's much shorter than all my going on:

He had learnt to keep this state going for hours on end. It was the closest a man could get to being multi-orgasmic. His penis would swell to atrocious proportions. He could feel the blood flow through its veins. In this state, he could maintain a perpetual hard-on. He loved it.

Notes:

In honor of the Coming Together Share the Love Blog Bash, I'm featuring Coming Together stories all month for "Stories I've Enjoyed."

Coming Together publishes erotic anthologies and standalone titles, and donates all proceeds to various charities.

For full disclosure, I've been published by Coming Together, but I bought Coming Together: By Hand and wrote this post entirely on my own.

Music Mondays: "H." by Tool

"I am too connected to you
To slip away, fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me."
--Tool

I can't say I'm sure what Tool's "H." is about, but I've always found it sexy simply by virtue of its lush instrumentation. And, of course, the memories it brings back--which the block I quoted always bring to mind. From the moment I hear its opening notes, I'm taken back to breathtaking high school makeout sessions.

There was a guy I used to know (there always is). We'd hang out in his room. We were both entranced by the album that includes this song. He'd put it on and we'd sit and listen to it in silence. By the time H. started (it's the third song on the album), we'd be kissing. I remember being utterly caught up in the sound like a wall around us, smelling the detergent on his white T-shirt and the soap on his skin, and kissing and kissing.

Sadly, "Die Eier Von Satan," the tenth song on the album, is entirely unsexy, and it usually killed the makeout.

The guy made me a tape of the album, and I still have it, even though it doesn't play anymore.

Share the Love Blog Bash Schedule

A bunch of Coming Together authors are blogging about erotic charity this month at Beyond Romance, including a few heroes of mine (Remittance Girl, Sacchi Green, M. Christian, and more!).

Amazing giveaways, as well, including a Kindle Fire... So, check it out, and keep an eye out of February 24, when I'll be heading over there myself!

Share the Love Schedule
1st - Alessia Brio
2nd - Lisabet Sarai
3rd - Remittance Girl
4th - Heather Lin
5th - Ann Regentin
6th - Victoria Blisse
7th - Lisabet Sarai
8th - Sacchi Green
9th - Gia Blue
10th - Xan West
11th - Erobintica
12th - Andrea Dale
13th - Jean Roberta
14th - Nobilis Reed
15th - Robert Buckley
16th - Brenna Lyons
17th - C. Sanchez-Garcia
18th - Amelia June
19th - M. Christian
20th - Teresa Lamai
21st - Tilly Greene
22nd - Giselle Renarde
23rd - Aliyah Burke
24th - Annabeth Leong
25th - Raziel Moore
26th - Allison Wonderland
27th - Gayle C. Straun
28th - Daniel Burnell
29th - Lee Benoit

Erotic Charity

The Share the Love Blog Bash continues at Beyond Romance this month. People involved with Coming Together are writing about erotic charity -- and posting hot excerpts.

Here's a snip from Coming Together Presents editor Lisabet Sarai's post today:

For a long time now, I've wanted to volunteer my time to some worthy endeavor, but actually, with my work schedule, I don't have a lot of time available. Furthermore, I'd like to use my specialized skills for the benefit of others. Working in a soup kitchen or entertaining orphans doesn't really take advantage of my years of education and experience.

Then I found Coming Together - the perfect way for me to volunteer something uniquely mine and help make the world a better place.

Read the rest here.

Don't forget--there are awesome giveaways, including a Kindle Fire!

Spankalicious! TOC edition

I'm not letting this awesome picture fall off the top of my blog. I posted last week about how excited I am to be included in Spankalicious: Erotic Adventures in Spanking. I figured I'd follow up with the full table of contents. I can't wait to read these stories!









Spankalicious Table of Contents

1 His & Hers by ily.goyanes

2 Designated Hitter by Big Ed Magusson

3 Glass Slippers by Leela Scott

4 Venus Calipige by Cèsar Sanchez Zapata

5 A Good Man is Hard to Find by Geroge Glass

6 Little Boys by Angela R. Sargenti

7 My Slutty Little Girl by Sinclair Sexsmith

8 An Incentive for Penny by Jade Melisande

9 The Upper Hand by D. L. King

10 On Switch by Penelope Pruitt

11 The First Weekend by Nan Andrews

12 The Unfair Maidens by Helen E. H. Madden

13 The Birthday Boy’s Punishment by Garland

14 Inspired by Martha Davis

15 Professor Kent’s Book Club by Nina Tate Parker

16 A Cure for Excess by Annabeth Leong

17 Dorm Room Disciplinarian by A. Erin Golding

18 The Roll-top Desk by T. Harrison

Stories I've Enjoyed (Coming Together Edition): "Quite Contrary" by Allison Wonderland

In honor of the Coming Together Share the Love Blog Bash, I thought that I'd feature Coming Together stories all month for "Stories I've Enjoyed."

Coming Together publishes erotic anthologies and standalone titles, and donates all proceeds to various charities.

The story I'm featuring today, "Quite Contrary" by Allison Wonderland, appeared in Coming Together: By Hand, a collection of masturbation stories that benefits the Coalition for Positive Sexuality.

"Quite Contrary" is about a woman who decides that having the first orgasm of her life is "the one gift that will suffice" for her 50th birthday. She masturbates for the first time, carefully preparing her room and setting aside the taboos she picked up from childhood:

"Ready or not, here I come," Mary giggles, as her hand advances toward her cunt. Her arm quivers, causing her to make a detour to her thigh. The pads of her fingers trek along the pallid skin, tickling the tiny flaxen hairs.

Parting her legs a fraction, she traverses the interior, her nails brushing against the powder pink lace sheltering her sex.

I found the story both hot and moving, a true sign of excellence. I like erotica, most of all, for its honesty, its willingness to go behind closed doors. This story is a great example. I like that Mary is 50. I like that Mary is brave. And I like that Mary learns how to give herself an orgasm.

For full disclosure, I've been published by Coming Together, but I bought Coming Together: By Hand and wrote this post entirely on my own.

The Share the Love Blog Bash Begins!

Alessia Brio kicks things off with a moving description of why Coming Together matters to her:

I'm doing things I believe in with every fiber of my being. Not only do I believe in the rightness and the power of charity, I also believe in the rightness and the power of sex. Writing about sex, whether to educate or to arouse, brings it into the light where it belongs. Sex needs to be celebrated for the joyous, life-affirming, rowdy primal romp that it is. It is only when relegated to dark, forbidden places that sex becomes something shameful. Something that others—media, religion, politics, retail—can use to manipulate and control us.

For those not in the know, Coming Together publishes erotic books and donates all proceeds to charity. She's also posted an excerpt of one of her stories, "Butterfly," which is an amazing example of the healing power of erotica, and appeared quite appropriately in an anthology benefiting Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

I'm proud to be part of Coming Together's stable of authors, and my own blog bash post will be up on Feb. 24. Keep an eye out!