Sunday, February 14, 2016

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have been thinking a lot about a post I read that questioned the heteronormativity of this holiday. I have two partners right now, one male and one female, and it's interesting to observe the differences in how I feel I should be acting toward each of them.

There's a whole morass of gender-related issues about who pays for what, who takes who out, and who spends time with who, and where any of this happens.

But in the end, all I want is to show them both that I care, to honor the connections between us.

It's already difficult not to fall into corporate expectations that may not match what the people involved actually want. I find that societal ideas of what men and women are supposed to do add another layer of complexity for me.

So what I'm going to try to do today is acknowledge both of the partners in my life for being the special people they are. I want to listen to their needs. I want to speak my own truths. I want to show them kindness and do my best to accept the kindness they offer me. One of the major things I notice when I step back from heteronormativity is that I have a lot of ideas, not only of who is supposed to do what when, but also about what it's okay to accept or need.

Here's to being real, in love and in lust. Here's to showing up with my authentic self, and to appreciating the authentic selves of others.

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