One of the major themes of my piece is the way I found myself driven to vulgarity to avoid being dismissed as someone who was just kidding about my desire for women. Here's a very short excerpt:
After the show was over, we went back to class, and I declared, “Everyone wanted to fuck her after that.”
“All the guys,” someone corrected me. I think she was trying to throw me a #NoHomo assist, but a) that expression is gross, and b) it definitely didn’t apply to me.
I shook my head. “Everyone. Including me.”
I was being a pig, I know. That was the only way I knew to expression attraction for women. It felt like anything less wouldn’t be acknowledged, would get softened in everybody’s mind until they heard me saying, “Pam is so pretty and sweet. I’d love to play My Little Ponies with her and maybe braid each other’s hair.”
I'm so looking forward to this show!