Where I've Been

My posts have been a bit thin here recently, but I've been writing once every two weeks at Oh Get A Grip, a fantastic group blog that has a format I'm really excited about (10 authors write one post each on various prompts).

Our topic for the past two weeks has been "One Moment," and that's as open as it sounds.

I wrote today about first times, denial, sexuality, and the one who got away:

I wasn't a virgin in the technical sense. I'd been with a number of boys by then. But recently, I've been thinking that night was my real first time because it was the first time I wasn't performing a role. Until then, I was always acquiescing to various coercions, making deals, feeling charged with being either the sexual gatekeeper or the automatic dispenser of magical sex favors. With her, we were both doing what we truly wanted to do. We were both excited but awkward but sweet but scared. Sex had never felt so mutual to me before.

If you'd like to read the rest, it's here.