Music Mondays: Bisexual Danish Folk Rock

This song means a lot to me. The first time I heard it, it stole my breath away. I was in Denmark, taking part in a community where I wasn't comfortable being out (though the community was amazing in many ways--sometimes, it's hard to tell if that sort of shit is just in my head or what). Anyway, I heard this song and, not only did it sound incredible, I instantly knew it was about a woman's first time desiring another woman. I've talked to some people who think the song's message is subtle, but to me it was blindingly clear, maybe because I needed so badly to hear it.

The band is from the 70s, and was called Shit og Chanel (Shit and Chanel), a badass punk name if I ever heard one. At some point, Chanel made them stop going by that name. The singer, Anne Linnet, is one of the greats of Danish music.

I'll post a rough translation after the video.



Rough translation of the lyrics:

Jeg gik ind til byen for at kigge efter dig
I went into the city to look for you

Pludselig stod du der i mængden
Og smilede til mig
Suddenly you stood there in the crowd, smiling at me

Ja alle folk ka' se det straks
Everyone can see it right away

Du er så smuk og dejlig
You are so beautiful and lovely

Dine øjne skinner
Your eyes shine

Du må hellere passe på
You'd better take care

Jeg pas på at ilden i mig ikke bliver tændt
I'm careful not to let the fire in me light up

Vi kunne begge to meget let blive forbrændt
We could both easily get burnt

Men det er ikke let
But it's not easy

For du er så smuk og dejlig
Because you're so beautiful and lovely

Dine øjne skinner
Your eyes shine

Ta' og kig den anden vej
Go and look the other way

Du er lidt forvirret
You're a little confused

Siger du og ler
You say, laughing

Smiler lidt vemodigt
You smile wistfully

Når du spør mig hva er det der sker
When you ask me, what is happening here?

Men jeg ved det heller ikke
But I don't know either

Du er så smuk og dejlig
You're so beautiful and lovely

Dine øjne skinner
Your eyes shine

Stærkere end nogen sol
Stronger than any sun

(And then various parts get repeated for the rest of the song)

Atomic Blonde: My Jaw Drops But I Have Questions

Charlize Theron is a fucking badass, and her character is clearly bisexual, so my first impression is, what's not to like?

On the other hand, though, I'm scared of some things. After the scene in the trailer with the women making out, the first cut is to men reacting. There is nothing that turns me off faster than that. In my personal life, I've worked so hard to get free of that shit, to be able to love the women I love without experiencing Men Reacting in my head, to be out with a date at a bar without tensing up at the possibility of Men Reacting. Sure, Men Reacting can be a little bit fun when they're going to get ignored (see: Carol, and the wonderful line, delivered by Therese, "I haven't thought about him all day."). However, I don't quite trust that this is what's going on in Atomic Blonde.

A bisexual woman does not have to end up with a woman to be queer, but I do think her relationships with women need to be treated with equal respect as her relationships with men. So, I'm scared that James McAvoy's character will Matter, but hot French woman will in the end Not Matter. This fear is compounded by the way the movie is billed—Charlize Theron and James McAvoy get the starring spots.

Does it not look a bit like hot French woman is about to be strangled, or that the trailer is foreshadowing her death? Color me paranoid, but this is a sore spot for me (ahem, way too many television shows).

I picked option 2 out of the 2 red band trailers, even though I think option 1 has more makeouts? However, option 2 had a mix of Personal Jesus and BLKKK SKKKN HEAD and I am here for that. However, can we talk about the music for a minute?

So, I love both those songs, and they sound and look super cool in the trailer. But I DO feel weird about a song that is so racially charged playing while a white woman kills people. I mean, Kanye even sort of addresses that in his lyrics:

"They see a black man with a white woman at the top floor they gone come to kill King Kong," he says.

It's also super weird to see her punching people to the line, "If I knew what I knew in the past, I would have been blacked out on your ass." She is not "blacked out."

This stuff with the song makes me feel a little weird about the movie, too. These people obviously know how to make something look cool. But the way they're using BLKKK SKKKN HEAD feels clumsy and oblivious. If they're clumsy and oblivious about racial stuff, I'm guessing they're likely to be clumsy and oblivious about queer stuff, too.

So I'm torn, because I like the idea of female-led action movies, and I am probably going to watch this. But I worry I will also be really irritated by it.

People on Autostraddle are struggling with similar questions, especially in the comments.

[And an aside about the song itself: I love it because to me it sounds like what Trent Reznor wishes he could do. It's the driving lyrical force of rap, combined with what made my teenage heart love Nine Inch Nails so very, very much. HOWEVER, it does contain a few lines that really annoy me. Kanye West is a genius, but does he have no editor? "I keep it 300, like the Romans. 300 bitches, where the Trojans?" Aaaargh. Maybe I am a nerd, but every time I hear that, I want to be like, Kanye, my friend, 300 is a reference to the Spartans, who were NOT Romans. Please keep your ancient cultures consistent. Anyway, that was neither here nor there, but I can never hear that line without wanting to rant about it, so...]

The Moment Things Went Awry

Today, at The Grip, I've got a post up called, "What I Did Before I Knew Better." We're remembering the 90s for the current topic cycle, and I wound up talking about the sexual identity I was forming, and how I wound up betraying that as the decade ended.

In all my confusion, when I ask myself what I honestly want, or what my identity actually is, it doesn't hurt to think back to how I acted then, when I didn't yet know better than to be myself.

You can read the whole post here.

The Perfect Taste

More Smut for Chocoholics is out, and I've got a story in it! My entry, "The Perfect Taste," is about a character having her first experience with another woman—all because of a mix-up over a box of chocolates. Here's an excerpt:

“Hmm, there’s a card,” Pam said, at the precise moment Katrina remembered that fact with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Katrina knew she had to say something to stop Pam opening it. She didn’t need the humiliation of sharing her futile crush with anyone beyond its object.

The words didn’t come in time. Pam slit the envelope open with a hot-pink nail. Katrina had selected her card with an eye towards elegance, but now the florid gold cursive letters on the outside made her cringe.

“Thinking of you,” Pam read aloud, and opened the card. “To Barry...” She trailed off. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you and Barry were together. Didn’t think you were into men, actually. Oh hell, I’m babbling. Why didn’t you stop me opening this?”

She folded the card quickly, replaced it in the envelope, and handed it and the chocolates to Katrina, who was too stunned to receive them. There were so many things Katrina knew she ought to say, but one of Pam’s statements had consumed her mind. “You didn’t think I was into men?” Katrina had entertained some fantasies, perhaps, but she’d never kissed a woman, and she’d never given her sexuality much thought. Every straight girl had a few fantasies about women, right?

“I thought that was why we always got along so well.”

Katrina wrinkled her forehead in puzzlement. Pam’s cheeks reddened. “I just put my foot in my mouth and kept right on going,” Pam said. “Please. Take your chocolates back. I’m sure Barry will like them.”

Wheels turned very slowly in Katrina’s mind. Pam had just told her something important, but it was taking time to process what it might have been. She found her attention drawn to Pam’s lips. Had Pam kissed women? Was that what she was saying? Katrina wondered what that had looked like. She pictured Pam’s mouth pressed against another woman’s mouth, delicate but also hungry. Fascination made her want to see Pam’s mouth working, and her stalled brain suddenly caught up with her and provided the perfect solution.

“Actually, Barry and I aren’t together. He, um, didn’t want the chocolates.”

“Oh?” Pam’s tone was careful and polite, but there was a spark of interest in her eyes. “That’s foolish of him. They look like very nice chocolates.”

Katrina’s hands began to tremble. The way Pam was looking at her reminded her of the last office party, when Pam had made Katrina laugh so hard her cheeks had hurt and she couldn’t catch her breath. At the time, she hadn’t thought much about it—hadn’t let herself think about it—but now she realised she’d only ever behaved that way with a crush. She remembered the times she’d stared at Pam, thinking she felt admiration. Could that have been something else instead?

“Do you want them?” Katrina asked quickly, before she could change her mind.

“Are you sure?” Pam murmured, stepping slightly closer. She was still holding the chocolates, and again she offered them to Katrina. “They’re wrapped so nicely, you could probably still get a date with them if you wanted to. If you asked the right person.”

Katrina lifted her chin and took a deep breath. It seemed too easy to move on so quickly after months of giggling at every joke Barry made. She had, however, been giggling at Pam’s jokes just as frequently, often enough that Pam hadn’t realised Katrina normally dated men. And there seemed to be no better cure for her tears of humiliation than indulging in whatever consolation prize Pam was offering. “I think I am asking the right person.”

You can find the full table of contents and buy links here. May I also recommend you check out the first anthology, Smut for Chocoholics? I've got a story in that one, too—a decadent tale of menage and chocolate-flavored mind games.