Less Than One Week to Help Xan West

Friends, I know I've been talking a lot about this—on Twitter, here, in my newsletter—but the reason for that is that I care. Xan West (AKA Corey Alexander) means a great deal to me, as both an author and a person, and our help is needed.

I know these are tough times. I feel like every day there is some urgent demand for my attention, my energy, my (limited) funds, my power, my love. I often feel exhausted by it all, and there are some things I don't feel able to get to. So I completely understand if you're tapped out or tired. I am, too.

This, though... So much right now is big and overwhelming. I often feel tiny. I'm often not sure if I can help or how to try. In times like that, it helps me to bring my focus to a smaller scale, and maybe that's another part of why I'm here. Xan West is one person, and I know I have the power to offer direct benefit in this case, with money, with energy, with attention.

But ultimately, it's not about me. It's about helping Xan live in safety. And one part of why I know this matters (other than the worth of every single person, no matter what), is that Xan's being and work have so often sustained me, and I know I'm not the only person for whom this is true. Xan's writing has given me joy and healing. Xan's presence is kind, thoughtful, and encouraging. Xan gets on Twitter and shares coping strategies right when so many of us need them. I want Xan to receive just as generously as Xan gives.

There's less than a week left on this YouCaring campaign, and I'd like to offer you three ways to help:

1) Give directly.



2) Buy a copy of Xan's book, Show Yourself to Me.

(Until the campaign is successful, Xan's publisher, Go Deeper, is giving Xan 100% of the proceeds from this book that are purchased from the Go Deeper website. You will find the website here.)

Honestly, if you haven't read Show Yourself to Me yet, I'm a little jealous. It's so revelatory and exhilarating.

3) Spread the word.

Share links to the campaign I embedded above. Share links to the page for Show Yourself to Me. Share links to Xan's Twitter feed. Everything matters.

<3 <3 <3

Thank you so much for reading this.

Announcing: The Taste of a Soul

I just signed a contract for a new short story, "The Taste of a Soul," which will be published in a forthcoming anthology of religion-related erotica by Mofo Press.

If you'd like a hint of what's to come, you can see the description of the submission call here.

Among other things, it says:

For this anthology, we are looking for erotic stories that explore the concept of religion. No other parameters apply other than that every story needs to be literary, erotic, and push the boundaries between the sacred and the profane.

We have a preference for Catholicism—the eroticism and hypocrisy are built right in—but stories involving other major world religions are fair game. We also have a soft spot for erotic explorations of world mythologies.

My story is about demons, inspired by Lana Del Rey.

This is a song I listened to lots while working on the story:

I'll give you more details when I've got them, and maybe a few sneak peeks along the way. :)

While you wait for this one, take a look at Mofo Press's Wanderlust anthology, which includes, among other things, a story by T.C. Mill, who is amazing.

Reading News in the New Age

I can't be the only one who's had a hard time focusing this week. Here's what I said on Twitter, and I'm not sure how much more intelligently I can add to it right now.

Reading news lately is like getting 100 stress in Darkest Dungeon pic.twitter.com/jbkQYSahRo

— Annabeth Leong (@AnnabethLeong) May 11, 2017

I guess Darkest Dungeon has this possibility, too, but I'm still working on that. pic.twitter.com/xzjufgG7pl

— Annabeth Leong (@AnnabethLeong) May 11, 2017

It's really overwhelming lately to stay alert, and to do anything, and I think this is the second time I've said that this week. Still, I'm trying.

Today there's a protest in downtown Providence, where people will demand an independent investigation in the wake of the Comey firing. I don't know if I have it in me to go, but I want to.

[And can I say a quick thing here? I went to the Women's March in Providence, and people there talked about people "getting off the couch" and coming to protest, and I really didn't like hearing it put that way. "Get off the couch" plays into that thing of calling other people lazy, and it's too popular and rather cruel. There are lots of reasons it can be hard to show up to a protest. For me personally, social anxiety and depression are major factors. So if I'm not there, it's not fair to assume that's because I'm "on the couch." I can think of plenty of other non-lazy reasons for people to not have a history of in-person protest activity.

I'm aware that it can really make a difference to show up in person, so I try to push myself. But it is something I have to really push myself to do. And I have to say that being in a shout-y crowd can be really tough for me. I went with a hesitant partner to a community town hall held by RI Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse. There wasn't enough room inside for the crowd, and the crowd got angry. My partner was distressed by the atmosphere and begged me to leave. I felt really torn, because I thought it was important to stay, but I also didn't want to ignore my partner's needs (and need for soothing).

I don't mean to say that people shouldn't be angry, because truly outrageous things are going on. I'm just saying that I wish I heard a bit more understanding about reasons other than laziness that might make people reluctant to go to protests.

All that said, I'm really going to try to go today.]

Anyway, the other thing I did this week, which was much easier for my bookish personality, was read Timothy Snyder's amazing book, On Tyranny. I want to buy copies and just sort of leave them around the city. It took only a few hours to read, but it was profound, scary, and somehow also inspiring. After reading it, I have no doubt that our democracy is in danger, and I also feel a bit more informed about what particularly to watch out for, and ways I can make myself ready to stand up against it. I'm planning to review this soon on Goodreads, and it's also a book I plan to read again.

I highly recommend it, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed by the constant flow of terrifying news. The book helped me sharpen my thinking a bit, and I needed that.

Anyway, I'm going to keep trying to be stalwart, vigorous, courageous, and powerful. I hope you can be, too!

From Pleasure Pie: It's My Pleasure

Have I talked about Pleasure Pie here before? They're an awesome sex positive organization based in Boston. They put on incredible events (I've been to their sex letter writing workshop, their sex positive activism workshop, and a couple of their discussions), and they also put out a great collection of zines and stickers.

I'm proud to say that my work is in one of their recent products, the "It's My Pleasure" Masturbation Zine.

Nicole from Pleasure Pie invited me to read from my piece at the recent launch party, and I was shocked by how different that felt from reading the work I normally publish. Something about the style of the zine and of Pleasure Pie opened me up to writing in a way that feels more raw and vulnerable than usual. My work often makes me feel a little vulnerable, but this was like handing over a nerve ending.

Here's the description of the zine:

This is a collaborative zine about masturbation! It consists of short, personal writings that describe the specifics of how different people masturbate (from a first-person perspective), and what their relationships to masturbation are like. Submissions include people from a variety of gender identities, sexual orientations, races, and ages.

This zine is 26 pages long and measures 4.25" x 5.5". It is printed in black and white ink, with a collage background, and a hand illustrated cover.

My piece is about an experience of change I've been having over the last few years. Masturbation has always been very important to me, and a huge part of my life. I used to feel a lot of shame about it, but erotica reading and writing helped me to embrace myself as I am and to stop feeling bad. At that point, I thought, great, this problem is solved. However, as with many things in life, I did not at that point get to live happily ever after. As questions piled up for me about my sexual orientation, and what I do and don't want to do sexually, I found that they affected my experience of masturbation. My piece in the zine is about my mixed feelings about that change. There are ways I'm honestly happy and excited about the need for more exploration, and there are ways that my emotions around this include a lot of grief and confusion.

All the pieces in the zine are incredibly moving and honest, though, so I'm in amazing company. I really admire Pleasure Pie's project here—one part of the goal was to demystify this often secret and shame-filled practice and talk about how a variety of people experience it. I think this is a really powerful thing to do, and it makes me love Pleasure Pie even more than I already did.

The launch event was a wonderful party, where, aside from listening to readings, I really enjoyed the masturbation-themed coloring activity (you can play along at home by getting the pages from Pleasure Pie's Etsy shop).

The It's My Pleasure Masturbation Zine is also available from Pleasure Pie's Etsy. Pleasure Pie sells it on a sliding scale between $4 and $8—please pay what you can.

If you do check out the Etsy, take a look at other zines if you have a chance. I'm particularly interested in "That's Okay," which Pleasure Pie describes like this:

A very sweet little zine about consent told through the story of a knight who rescues a princess. The knight goes through hardship to get to her, but she refuses to live happily ever after with him. He respects her decision, no questions asked. If only more fairy tales ended this way!

A student wrote this zine at a zine making station that I had at a college in Boston, and I loved it so much that I asked if I could publish it. He said yes, and a wonderful Pleasure Pie volunteer illustrated it to look like an old video game. Now you can buy the finished product that resulted from their collaboration!

DETAILS: This zine measures 2.75" x 4.25" and is printed on standard white computer paper, using color ink.

Auction: Readers and Writers for LGBT Chechens #ChechenRainbow

One of the things that's hard about right now is that there are so many things competing for our attention. It feels relentless. I want to give money to too many good causes, and I want to do more than I'm capable of doing to stop the various sorts of villainy that are going on in the world right now. That said, I feel like it's important to pay attention as much as possible, and to do as much as possible. And some of the ways I can help involve things I enjoy doing, like reading fun books.

So today I'm going to tell you about an effort to help people in Chechnya. As Amnesty International puts it, "Men believed to be gay are being abducted, tortured or even killed in Chechnya as part of a coordinated campaign with impunity." You can download their full report on this issue here.

A group of authors and publishers have gotten together to help raise money for the Russian LGBT Network, ILGA-Europe, and Rainbow Railroad, three organizations that are working with people in Chechnya (you can read more about this effort here). That last link includes a list of ways to help.

Today, though, I'm going to focus on the auction these authors and publishers are running (to raise money for the three organizations I mentioned above).

My friend Lisabet Sarai got in touch to let me know she's offering 2 signed copies of her book Quarantine. You can bid on the book here, if you're so inclined.

I see other friends helping, too. For example, Cecilia Tan is offering an awesome ebook bundle here (that bundle includes her Magic University series, the Prince's Boy, and the Velderet, so it's really an incredible deal).

If you'd like to look at everything on auction, you can do that here.

Bidding ends at 12 pm CDT on May 13th.

Auction winners donate directly to the charities and claim items by sending their donation receipts, so you know for sure that the money will reach the necessary causes.

If you've got the bandwidth to help, or even just want to read a good book, please consider helping with this effort.

<3 <3 <3

Out Now: Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms: Erotic Lesbian Fairy Tales

Hey friends, guess what? This book is out!

Here's the description:

In this sexy, erotic anthology of twisted fairy tales, the damsels are the ones doing the rescuing! Full of ancient, adapted tales that were changed to include female/female pairings and also some brand new stories of feminine heroics and sexual dominance, this collection of stories will leave readers under a spell of lesbian love!

It includes my story, "The Mark and the Caul."

Also, check out this great review! (Thanks, Ameliah Faith!) The reviewer calls attention to my story by name, and also gives shout outs to writers I love, including Emily Byrne, Michael M. Jones, Salome Wilde, and Sacchi Green herself.

You can get Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms at Amazon, your favorite indie bookstore, or wherever else it pleases you to do so!

Music Mondays: Right Now by Haim

Haim where have you been why did it take you so long to bring your glorious hair back into my life how do you play the drums so well when will you let me buy your new album I have so many questions.

But in any case, you're right, "That's how you fucking do it."

Welcome back!