Unspeakably Erotic (Quite Likely) Out Today!

My friends, I am writing to you from the distant past (by which I mean April). April Annabeth wanted to be sure I would remember to share with you that D.L. King's new anthology of lesbian kink erotica, Unspeakably Erotic, is out today. It includes a story of mine, called "Simultaneous," which is super kinky and involves a dominant masochist, piercing, group sex, and fisting! I previously shared an excerpt of it here, and the table of contents here.

Here's the cover image I was given back in April:



Maybe you'd like to order this book? If so, here are links I found in April! Here's a link to the paperback edition, and one to the kindle edition.

So, rock on, April Annabeth, mission accomplished!

On the other hand, the reason I keep mentioning that I did all these things in April is that things could have changed. Those links could be broken now. The cover image might have changed due to an arcane new policy from Amazon about not showing ass cheeks. Or the publication date could have been pushed back. Or, gods forbid, this could all be irrelevant in the wake of some hideously destructive decision made by the disturbingly ignorant commander in chief of the U.S. of A. Who knows? If so, please forgive me! (And whoever else might be involved).

Whatever happens, my story is hot, and I'm pretty sure the others are, too. If you're here, please consider reading them, even if you have to search a little to find the correct links, or even raid the ruins of a bookstore or print shop in your current post-apocalyptic hellscape (Not that I wish that on you or anyone else. I'd really rather we all be able to comfortably sip tea and read erotica in our own homes, including immigrants and muslims, should they so choose.)

Knowing myself, I will probably leave this post as written because I enjoy these sorts of time capsules. So here's your message from the past, and your present exhortation to add something new and Unspeakably Erotic to your life.

<3 <3 <3

An Excerpt from Simultaneous

Hey, friends! I wanted to take an opportunity to remind you about D.L. King's anthology Unspeakably Erotic: 20 Stories of Lesbian Kink, which is scheduled to come out later this year. I thought this time I'd give you a taste of my story, "Simultaneous," which will appear in the anthology.

It's a story about a dominant woman who wants to get nipple piercings at the same moment she's getting fisted. Minnie, her girlfriend, is handling the piercing, and an acquaintance, Alice, is doing the fisting. (Can I pause here to acknowledge, as a person with a bit of a fantasy about stranger sex, how hot it is for me to think about getting fisted by an "acquaintance," though I know there are some issues there with practicality).

Anyway, here goes:

“Almost ready," Minnie says. "Everything is sterilized. I’m just getting organized.”

I feel her moving just beyond my field of vision. For a second, I wish I could have two Minnies. She knows how to fuck me just right. She knows how to make me feel split open in the best way, how to fill me more than I thought possible, how to push just past the point where I think I can’t take it anymore, and how to tell the difference between a desperate scream of pleasure and an incoherent cry for a break.

On the other hand, if I’m going to get nipple rings in a situation like this, and I’m planning to make them permanent, it has to be Minnie who gives them to me. She’s got the sense of timing required to make this work just the way I fantasized, she learned to pierce for me, and I want her to mark my body for life the way she has my heart and mind.

Besides, I’ve got no complaints about Alice’s technique. She’s spearing me enthusiastically with four fingers, and Minnie must have done a good job with the rope, because I’m shocked I’m not sliding all over the place under the force of her assault. Braced this way, I can’t do anything but absorb each of Alice’s thrusts, and I indulge a long whimper before forcing myself back to saying words.

“All right. Alice, ease off just a little so Minnie can set up.”

She gives it to me hard a couple more times, a challenging expression on her face, and then does as I’ve requested.

“Just stroke the G-spot lightly. Tickle it, almost.”

“Tickle, tickle.” Alice smirks.

It doesn’t tickle.

I take a deep breath, letting the pleasure surround me and press at the edges of me, without surrendering to it.

“Minnie, if you’re ready, come here.”

The stand’s wheels roll closer. Minnie puts a hand on my head. Her cool touch makes me realize how hot and sweaty Alice has gotten me.

“Make your marks now.”

“Yes, Miss.”

I’m so sensitive that I gasp when Minnie’s pen touches down on one side of my left nipple, marking a spot to guide how she inserts the needle. My cunt clutches around Alice’s fingers.

“Down, girl,” Alice teases. “I’ll get back to the good stuff in a minute.”

There'll be a lot more good stuff in the actual book. I posted the table of contents a few months ago here. If you'd like to preorder this, that would be awesome! There's a paperback edition and a kindle edition.

We're Unspeakably Erotic!

I just got the word from editor D.L. King that her latest anthology, Unspeakably Erotic: 20 Stories of Lesbian Kink, is up for preorder on Amazon!



It includes my story, "Simultaneous." I really went for it with this one—thinking about it now I realized I took a whole bunch of my personal fantasies and worked them into one wild scene. This story includes piercing, fisting, group sex, orgasm denial, and D/s in the form of a dominant masochist. So it's super hot to me.

I'm also proud because I like to write stories that contrast with common expectations. There's a lot of shame flying around about "topping from the bottom." In "Simultaneous," I wrote a story where that's the plan and expectation. The domme is the bottom, and that's the way the characters like it. This sort of thing is personally important to me because I'm definitely a masochist, but sometimes what I really need is to have control of how I'm being hurt.

Knowing D.L. King, I'm sure the rest of these stories will be scorching. You can check out the table of contents below. Can I mention how excited I am to share pages again with Rose P. Lethe? (I still shiver when thinking about her story, "A Professional," which was in the 20th anniversary edition of Best Lesbian Erotica). I also see plenty of other names I know and love: Sonni de Soto, Sacchi Green, Kathleen Tudor, and more. And the thing is, half the fun of these anthologies is getting to know the writers I'm not already familiar with. There never fails to be a story that floors me, written by some talented person I've never heard of before.

Here's the full list of what's to come:

Pygmalion   J. Belle Lamb
CBT   Pascal Scott
The Auction   Tamsin Flowers
Support Service   Sonni de Soto
Blue Plate Special: Your Boot on My Cunt   Avery Cassell
Simultaneous   Annabeth Leong
Private Party   Rose P. Lethe
Training Zoe   Meghan O'Brien
Use Me   Kiki DeLovely
Cuckold   B.D. Swain
The Last Kink   Cecilia Duvalle
In a Pinch   Janelle Reston
Baubles and Beads   Sacchi Green
Appetite   Emily Bingham
Bitch Slap   Sir Manther
Aloha a Trois   Kathleen Tudor
Date Night   Brey Willows
The Last of Marengo   Mary Tintagel
Close Edge   Elinor Zimmerman
Bedtime Story   Robyn Nyx

If lesbian kink erotica is your thing, please consider pushing the preorder button on Amazon—either for the print edition or the kindle edition.

You may or may not be aware, but these sorts of anthologies are becoming less common now than they were in the past, and that's a shame because I personally love them. It really helps for people to show interest up front. I love doing these, and I love them as a reader, and I'd like to see them keep going.

Until next time! <3 <3 <3

Guest Blog: Fast Cars by Tenille Brown

Today, I'm very pleased to host Tenille Brown, editor of Can't Get Enough. She must know I like to post about music on Mondays, so she sent over a great piece about hot sex in fast cars and reminded me of a fantastic Tracy Chapman song I've always loved.



See I remember we were driving, driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was dunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder...
Fast Car, Tracy Chapman

I remember the sexy sound of strings in Tracy Chapman's version of Fast Car, her sultry ode to riding with a lover.

I remember how it made me feel, how I feel even now in a car, any car, huddled up close in the front seat, my adrenaline enhanced by the thrill of speeding down the street.

Yes, I'm fascinated with cars, riding in them, sitting on them.

In my mind I'm the kind of girl who belongs in a Mustang convertible, Special Edition, with sunglasses on and my hair blowing in the wind.

Maybe that's why I'm addicted to car sex...in my writing and in my reading.

Over the past decade, I've written a number of stories about vehicles and the people who have sex in, on and around them.

Be it on the hood, in the front seat, in the bed of a pick up, there's something about the urgency, the "give it to me now" that makes my heart beat and my tongue wag. I can't resist.

So, it's no surprise that three stories of the car sex variety made it into Can't Get Enough.

Take this passage form Miel Rose's Big Appetites:

"...it's not because of her threat that I buckle my seat belt and scoot my naked butt over to her. She takes one hand off the wheel and wraps a thick arm around me..."

Or this one from Heidi Champa's Free Ride:

"When I slipped into the backseat, I heard his belt buckle jingling and the metallic click of his zipper going down..."

And lastly, Lucy Felthouse's When He Gets Home:

"...She leaned forward and touched the button to recline the seat....the poor man had no idea what was coming to him."

Maybe it's the cramped space and the creativity it takes to get it going, maybe it's the idea of not being able to wait the ten seconds it would take to get inside the house.

Whatever it is, it makes the top two in my top ten places to get it on and no matter what, I'll always make time (and space) for a fucking good ride.



***

Can't Get Enough is on tour right now! You can see the full list of posts here. I've got a story in Can't Get Enough myself (though it's not about cars) — it's called Objects of Desire, and it's about kitchen tools turned sex toys. You can pick up the book here.

Three of Hearts

News catchup again. Someday I may manage to get all this stuff posted!

That picture above is for Kristina Wright's anthology, Three of Hearts, which is coming in October. My story is "Whose Anniversary Is It Anyway?"

I've had a few three-way relationships in my life (I said it that way to contrast with threesomes, which in my experience are different beasts). I'll be honest—they were a tricky balancing act. I was young, and I didn't know my way around the landscape. I didn't even know the word polyamory, and I'd never read anything like Tristan Taormino's fantastic book Opening Up (a book I would highly recommend for anyone who wants to consider nonmonogamy in its various permutations). So to write an erotic romance about a relationship involving three people and be honest, I didn't want to create a story that was entirely fantasy. I went for something I knew to have been an issue in my own experience—what happens when the love feels unequal and/or someone is feeling left out. The story's about that discomfort of unevenness, and particularly about the question of which significant dates should be celebrated, and how. Because, in my experience, anniversaries can cause a lot of conflict even for couples. They raise tons of expectations about romance and making a day "special." That issue can get even trickier with more than two people involved. Now, the characters in my story probably have read Opening Up and things like it, and they're a lot more mature than I was the last time this sort of thing came up for me, and they come up with a sexy way to work out their issues—so basically, they're well-equipped to have fun with this.

Three of Hearts
Table of Contents

Foreword Alison Tyler
Introduction: Three’s the Charm
Movie Night by Tiffany Reisz
An Extra Pair of Eyes by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Eve’s Apple Red by Angela Capteron
Experience and Expectations by Kathleen Tudor
The Mistress in the Brat by Skylar Kade
What Happens in Denver by Cheyenne Blue
Old Habits by Mina Murray
Medley of Desire by A.J. Lyle
A Thief in the Night by Giselle Renarde
Drinking Games with Cowboys by Axa Lee
The Last Day of Summer by Veronica Wilde
Full Circle by Jade Melisande
Whose Anniversary Is It Anyway? by Annabeth Leong
Limits of Endurance by Ariel Graham
Uncharted Seas by Chris Komodo
Three for the Road by Kristina Wright

Review: Bedded Bliss

Bedded Bliss: A Couple's Guide to Lust Ever After is a very ambitious book. Editor Kristina Wright combines memoir (stories of her own long-term marriage), erotic fiction written by herself and others, and self help, and does so over a very broad range of situations. The book is addressed to married couples, and Wright includes chapters aimed at people who are struggling with young children, people dealing with the way sex changes with age, people interested in trying out kink or polyamory, people facing financial stress, and much more.

The ground Bedded Bliss covers makes for an interesting read—and attests to the ground that a married couple can cover over the course of a long sex life. Wright pulls off a difficult balancing act: she brings up many, many possible directions for married couples to go while at the same time affirming the value of too-often-maligned vanilla sex. The book is gentle but exciting, far-reaching and open-minded without making the reader feel as if spicing up the sex life requires a fat bank account and the flexibility of a member of Cirque du Soleil.

It's a very intimate book, and this is the thing I liked best about it. Wright and her contributors all open up about their own sex lives, and that makes the erotic fiction she includes feel all the more intimate in turn. Many contributors have more than one story in the collection, and I liked the effect—it made me feel as if I knew them better to see them presenting couples from several angles. In many cases, the stories seem more autobiographical than fictional. The writers often use first-person POV, along with the names of their actual spouses. In other cases, they use consistent characters over several stories, such as Jeremy Edwards' Mel and Lawrence or Heidi Champa's Duncan and Lena.

I also appreciated the inclusion of male writers in this book—they didn't make up fifty percent, but there were a higher proportion of them than in many collections of erotica that I've read. Considering the goals and subject matter of this book, I think it's important to have that perspective.

Some of the strengths of Bedded Bliss, however, can also become liabilities. Its wide subject matter can seem like a lack of focus at times. The material was all hot and interesting, but I couldn't always keep track of the through line. The book's chapters generally follow a format: a short essay from Wright, some exercises a couple could try, and erotic fiction related to the essay. As I read, however, the chapters ran together, and I wasn't always sure what was being demonstrated. In some cases I couldn't clearly see the distinction between one chapter and another. The last chapter in particular threw me. It contained many more erotic stories than the others and came off as a catch-all, a place to put the miscellany that hadn't fit well elsewhere.

This phenomenon was made more problematic because I read the Kindle edition of this book. The navigation and table of contents in the electronic version left much to be desired, and I often wished for the physical book instead. It would have helped me to be able to flip back and forth easily. This is the sort of book that made me want to make connections—to read stories in a different order than the one they're presented in, to skip around, to scan and explore. It particularly annoyed me that the Kindle Edition's table of contents did not list the erotic fiction titles and authors.

I have mixed feelings about how Bedded Bliss handled the reality of non-heterosexual married couples. There was one story by Evan Mora, a woman in a long-term lesbian relationship. I was glad to see it, but it was included in that random chapter at the end, so I'm not sure most non-heterosexual readers would get far enough to know it's there. The book could be read by a non-heterosexual couple, I suppose, but until I reached Mora's story, it had screamed heterosexual to me. Considering the inclusion of Mora's story, I wished there had been a paragraph or two in the introduction that made a point of welcoming LGBTQ readers to the table, and (in for a penny, in for a pound) a greater commitment to telling the stories of married couples outside the heteronormative spectrum. As it was, Mora's story struck me as too little, too late.

Another interesting but mixed feature of Bedded Bliss is that it's pretty clear it's aimed at couples who are currently happy or at least have a very strong foundation. For a reader who feels generally positive toward his or her spouse, the language of the book will likely feel affirming and encouraging. For a reader who's having deeper problems, this same language may be incredibly off-putting.

For example, Wright says, "If the idea of sharing your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with your spouse sends you running into the closet, consider this: you got married because, in addition to being the love of your life and sexy as hell, this is the person you trust most in the world. Right?"

I've been married twice, so I read that passage with two sets of eyes. The current me can answer yes to that question (I am happily married this time, so far). In my previous marriage, however, that question would have filled me with helpless frustration.

I think it's good for a book like this to exist, one that tries to help marriages long before they're broken, or to help people build on something that's already good. Bedded Bliss does acknowledge in places, however, that there are limits to this approach and some relationships may not work out.

In the end, I think Bedded Bliss may not have matched the heights of its ambition, but the result is still a book that will be very sexy and valuable to many people. This book fills an important niche that's rarely served (the only similar book I can think of is Alison Tyler's Never Have the Same Sex Twice). Wright and her contributors are wise about marriage, encouraging and realistic, rich with experience to share. They offer some necessary pushback against media-driven images of who gets to have good sex and what good sex is. They demonstrate how each couple must define for themselves what it means to have a sexually satisfying relationship. That's important, and I'm glad to have read this book.

Bedded Bliss is available here, and in many places online and in physical stores.

Disclosures: This post is part of the official blog tour for Bedded Bliss. I write for Cleis Press, and have been edited by Kristina Wright. However, I purchased my own copy of Bedded Bliss, and the opinions I've expressed are my own.

Can't Get Enough

That hot picture you see is the cover of Tenille Brown's anthology Can't Get Enough, which will be out July 2014, and will include my story, "Objects of Desire."

This is an anthology written to the theme of "insatiable desire"--I can't begin to imagine how hot it's going to be.

My own story is based on a favorite fantasy of my partner's, though the story is very much about a woman making that fantasy her own because that's how I like to do things. I'll post the table of contents, etc, once I've got them.

Review: Alison Tyler's Dark Secret Love

I wish I'd had Alison Tyler's Dark Secret Love when I was young. This is the sort of fiction that can save a person—wise about the world, unashamed, unafraid of truth, full of voice and strength.

Something like this might have saved me from years of self-imposed sexual denial, the marriage based on pretending not to like the things I like, the visits to the therapist who tried to teach me how to fantasize about something "nice."

Tyler had me from word one of this book—the book starts hard and moves fast. She really captured me, however, when she wrote about the big mistake her main character Samantha makes—"depriving me of any sexual pleasure for three lonely years." That mistake turns out to be getting involved with a man who forces her to be someone she's not, and a lot of Dark Secret Love is about Samantha escaping from that terrible, soul-crushing sort of emotional bondage and finding freedom in the wild, sexy sort of bondage that she craves.

I've read plenty of books about doms and subs, pleasure and pain, but it's so rare and special to find one so raw and powerful. Samantha, the main character, seeks her own pleasure. She's no passive toy. She explores, makes mistakes, gets lucky, and slowly claims her own needs and desires.

I love the way Cleis Press designed the covers for this series, because even the covers of the books say this to me. They're girly and hard-core at the same time. Just looking at the cover of this book (and of the sequel, The Delicious Torment), I can see that what's being written about is a woman's pleasure.

There is a love story, a very important romance, but it takes its time arriving. I liked that. Every time a new man appeared, I wasn't sure how significant he would be or how long he would stay around, and that reflects life. Tyler knows the reader is expecting the happily ever after, and she makes a tease out of the reveal. It's a fun game.

Samantha's journey is also very hot. It's filled with delicious scenes of spanking, bondage, public display, anal sex, and the testing of limits, and all of them ring with authenticity.

When Tyler writes about her main character being caned, she talks about getting six strokes (more eventually, because the count inevitably starts over, but the amount she and her top are talking about her taking is six). I appreciated this because, for anyone who has any idea of how much caning can hurt, six is the sort of number that ought to be getting talked about. As soon as I read "six," I knew this book was written by someone who knows the deal.

I read it in a delicious buzz of arousal. It's the sort of book that screws up plans—plans of starting work on time, of going to bed, or of going anywhere. But I found that what I appreciated most, even more than the heat of it, was having Tyler's strong voice as a companion. It healed me to read about Samantha admitting what she needed. I have so often wondered why I couldn't just have "normal sex," so I was moved when Samantha also wonders why. I felt her relief every time she found a man who understood those needs in any way. I felt her appreciation for those men and her enjoyment of them.

Samantha's insights often seared me or stunned me. Tyler's prose is clean and clear, presenting her character's revelations as nakedly as the character so often presents herself.

I will admit that I sometimes am bored these days by reading about what I think of as basic BDSM—some handcuffs here, a whipping there. Tyler's writing reminded me that when a person lives it, needs it, and does it with connection, there's nothing boring or basic about any of it. It was refreshing to be turned on as hell over things I sometimes now find run of the mill. It made me wonder how it could ever be boring to me. It made me remember what it was like to want it so badly and be afraid to even whisper about what I wanted.

Late in the book, Samantha says, "Good-girl sex, the type I always imagine other people to be having in their dark bedrooms every night, with minty breath and cooing dove talk, that sort of sex isn't meant for me."

I've had similar thoughts, but I don't think I ever put it so boldly to myself. The most important books I've read are the ones that manage to say what I need to say but can't quite articulate. The author says her piece and somehow in the process also gives me a lost piece of myself.

***

I'm honored to be part of the blog tour for Dark Secret Love. You can see all the stops here. Be sure to check out the tour post, because it includes an exciting giveaway!

This is the official blurb:

Keep Your Safe Word Handy
Dark Secret Love is a modern-day Story of O, a 9 1/2 Weeks-style journey fueled by lust, longing and the search for true love. Inspired by her own BDSM exploits and private diaries, Alison Tyler draws on twenty-five years of penning sultry stories to create a scorchingly hot work of fiction, a memoir-inspired novel with reality at its core. A luscious and literary experience of authenticity, Dark Secret Love is a romance for readers who desire sweetness edged with danger and a kinky fairy tale with a happily-ever-after ending. Take a deep breath and prepare to submit. Alison Tyler will push your boundaries to the limits—and have you begging for more.

And Alison Tyler's bio:

ALISON TYLER is a prolific author of erotic fiction and is the editor of Three-Way, Heat Wave, Best Bondage Erotica, Love at First Sting, and Naughty or Nice. She lives in San Francisco and has a well-traveled website at AlisonTyler.com.

Cleis Press's info page about the book is here.

All You Do Is Play

I've got a story coming out in the excellent Rachel Kramer Bussel's Big Book of Orgasm! The book boasts 69 short stories featuring orgasm (sort of a follow-up to the editor's anthology, Orgasmic, which I loved).

My favorite thing about Orgasmic was the wide territory it explored, and I suspect Big Book of Orgasm will do the same. With my story, "All You Do Is Play," I wanted to support that sense of exploration. My main character's orgasm is... musical.

And, I'll have you know I do my research. My partner and I tested the orgasm method before I wrote the story to make sure it could work (tricky, but possible). I also knew a woman once, no lie, who could orgasm to music but not to much else.

So excited to see what the other authors came up with! I'll post more details as they become available.

Better Than a Massage

Just a quick note that my story, "Better Than a Massage" will appear in Rachel Kramer Bussel's forthcoming anthology of anal sex stories, Baby Got Back. The book will be out in August, and I'll post more information as the release gets closer.

For now, I'll just say it's an f/f story based on my belief that anal sex is holiday sex.

Audioerotic

I've been having a great time listening to erotic audiobooks lately. At first, I didn't like the idea. When I pick up a work of erotica, I often like to do it in bed because, well, I like the privacy in case I get really involved with the... story. While an audiobook would leave both hands free, I didn't think it would give me enough control. When I'm doing one-handed reading, I have to hunt for something that fits my specific kinks, and then I typically linger lovingly on the paragraph or two that really do it for me.

So, how did this change?

I've thought about (and written before) about reading erotica for non-one-handed purposes. And as I get more comfortable with my appreciation for the genre, I've found myself reading erotica at the breakfast table, or on my smart phone in various waiting rooms. This usually isn't about one-handed reading. It's about literary appreciation, the naughty thrill of accessing the forbidden in public, and the occasional delicious frustration when a story gets me really worked up in a way I can't satisfy in the current time and place.

From there, it was a short step to erotic audiobooks. If I liked reading erotica in a waiting room, why not listen to it in the car or while I'm at the gym?

Just writing that last sentence has me breathless, because it turns out that listening to erotica is way more awesome than I ever imagined it could be. There I am on the elliptical, looking completely innocent, while a voice purrs every filthy word into my ear. It's exciting even if I don't particularly like the story. If the story is well-written, it increases my appreciation a great deal. In audio, I find myself turned on by stories that definitely would not do it for me in print. I'm not in control of pace or content. Everything is a surprise. I can't flip forward to glimpse whether she's going to use a strap-on or just her fingers and tongue. Every turn is a delicious surprise.

If you haven't tried this, I would highly recommend it.

One ironic effect of immersing myself in the erotic is it's a little harder to get the sensation I remember from when I was young. Time was, I'd catch a little glimpse of the forbidden and be instantly panting, wet, and desperate. I still remember an erotic graphic novel I found in a Hong Kong laundromat. I glanced through it, but then felt too ashamed to steal it the way I wanted to. I didn't take it with me, but I'll never forget the fire that entered my body -- a sensation that didn't leave for hours, and that still comes back to me when I call up the memory of those images. These days, things rarely turn me on so thoroughly and achingly.

But I've been catching a glimpse of that lately when I take my erotic audiobook on the road. Not being able to act when I'm turned on has allowed several stories to build so much tension in me that I end my workout a quivering mass, hoping everyone thinks all that sweat is just from how hard I worked my cardio.

I started this trip with audio versions of Cleis anthologies. I've been having a great time, and can't wait to check out the rest of what's on offer.

If You Want More On the Year's Best Sex Writing...

Yesterday, I posted my piece of the virtual book tour for Best Sex Writing 2012. There are a bunch of interesting blogs participating, so I'd recommend checking out the book tour link if you'd like to travel with the book.

Some quick highlights so far:

Giselle Renarde posted about "Sluts, Walking" on Donuts and Desires.

The Erotic Literary Salon posted an interview with editor Rachel Kramer Bussel that's well worth checking out.

Author Tim Elhajj, whose piece "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career" was one of my favorites in the book, posted some more details about what he wrote.

There's plenty more awesome on the tour, so take a look.

Best Sex Writing 2012

I've written in the past about how I think erotica is a sacred calling, but I should expand the statement. Writing about sex is a sacred calling. I spent so long walking around wounded or confused about sex, afraid to say anything. I spent more time not knowing how to share my sexual joys. I love one-handed reading, for sure. But over the past few years, I've also become a huge fan of the Best Sex Writing series, published by Cleis Press.

I'm participating in this year's blog tour for Best Sex Writing 2012, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. The writing is honest, challenging, and exciting. There was a piece that really pissed me off and plenty of pieces that got me thinking.

Cleis was kind enough to send me a copy of the book to check it out, so I'm going to do a quick rundown of the pieces that made the biggest impression on me and why.

"Sluts, Walking" by Amanda Marcotte:

"I expect that when a man thinks a woman being sexy means that she isn't smart or deserving of basic respect, you know everything you need to know about him, and he is the one who has forfeited his right to be treated with respect, not the woman he claims provoked him."

Thank you, Amanda Marcotte, for giving a clear, cogent rundown of this issue. I need to hear it to relieve my own twists of thought and my sense of shame. I think we all need to hear it, over and over, until it really sinks in.

"Atheists Do It Better: Why Leaving Religion Leads to Better Sex" by Greta Christina:

"In debates with atheists, many believers argue for religion on the basis of how good it makes them feel. They argue that religion is emotionally useful, psychologically useful, socially useful: that religion gives people a sense of meaning, moral guidance, comfort in hard times, etc. ... But if this argument is to be believed, this usefulness argument is conclusively shown to be bogus--even on its own terms. At least when it comes to sex."

Greta Christina wrote on of my favorite pieces of erotica ever ("Bending," published in Three Kinds of Asking For It), so I was sorry to be so irritated by this piece. While I found the study data Christina cited (about sexual guilt and religion) very interesting, I disliked the essay's evangelical tone. I am a believer, and I've used the utility argument she describes when talking to atheists. But I'll tell you why: because I don't want to get into trying to prove the existence of God to someone. I actually don't want to argue at all (my personal approach to religion). I do believe, however, that God is real. Christina's essay convinced me that I need to be more upfront about that, to avoid disingenuous discussions and irritating treatises that won't convince anyone who isn't already convinced. I probably need to write a whole post on this one, but my brief response is that God and religion are like family to me. They come with a bunch of baggage and guilt, true, but I personally can't escape them. Being raised by my parents left me with a huge need for therapy, but they're still my parents. Religion's in the same category for me.

"I Want You to Want Me" by Hugo Schwyzer:

"So many straight men have no experience of sensing a gaze of outright longing."

One of my favorite pieces in the book. As a woman who has often felt ashamed of my "slutty" desire for the male body, which I've never been able to conceal, it's really interesting to read about the male experience of the female gaze. My partner loves reducing me to speechlessness by revealing his body and this essay gave me a better sense of what's going on with that. As I've written before, I realized at some point that a lot of erotica doesn't really describe the male body. I think it's why a lot of women are drawn to gay porn and m/m writing--we really do like the male body. I would love to live in a world where women felt free to express their true desires.

"Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift" by Joan Price:

"Robert would never touch me again, and I had to find my own way to reclaim the sensual and sexual life within me."

This piece made me cry. It's lovely and brave and I've since been recommending Joan Price's work right and left. I am a young woman, but I find writing by mature women about their sexuality very empowering and comforting, perhaps because it makes it clear that my sexuality isn't something that will just go away once I pass menopause. The wisdom, compassion, and sense of self that were so clear in this essay will all serve me well someday.

"An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career" by Tim Elhajj:

"I was about to be forced to tear off the mask I had worn throughout high school. About to stand revealed before the adult world and acknowledge who I really was: a heterosexual male who struggled with authority, an indiscriminate rebel who had a weakness for a little good head."

I love the complexity of sexual identity that Elhajj lays out in his essay. Military officers repeat to him, "You are a homosexual," and his writing makes it clear what an outrage it is for someone else to define your sexual identity for you.

"The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" by Roxane Gay:

"It was an 11-year-old girl whose body was ripped apart, not a town. It was an 11-year-old girl whose life was ripped apart, not the lives of the men who raped her. It is difficult for me to make sense of how anyone could lose sight of that, and yet it isn't."

Another topic, unfortunately, that really needs to be discussed. And thank you to Roxane Gay for a brutally clarifying discussion of rape and what it is and means.

"Penis Gagging, BDSM, and Rape Fantasy: The Truth About Kinky Sexting" by Rachel Kramer Bussel:

"Without the motivation of the person sending and receiving [bits of erotic conversation], you really don't know anything, and yet a default anti-BDSM reaction seems to be acceptable. Our public squeamishness over the fact that some people can eroticize pain, degradation, and being ordered around, safely, consensually, and pleasurably, is nothing more than a prejudice that needs to be eradicated."

I have reams of chat logs that would make a lot of people seriously wonder about me. I like the solidarity of sex writing. When one person speaks up, it lets other people know that what they're doing can't be so terribly weird. I admire the bravery it takes to single yourself out and reveal what's in your bed, your closet, or saved on your computer.

"Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling" by Adrian Colesberry:

"Adrian holds no delusions about women wanting a man to last forever. In his experience, they resoundingly haven't. It's great for those first few times when you just can't get enough of each other, but after that, if you are anything like every woman he's ever been with, you'll be over it."

This piece is hilarious, real, and refreshingly honest. Written in a style that reminds me of David Foster Wallace (complete with footnotes) it is wry, self-deprecating, and friendly, while also cutting to the core of what's so damn uncomfortable about having sex with people who aren't you.

"Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch:

"We ate each other we ate pickled herring we ate Gruyere cheese. We ate the animal out of each other's bodies we ate steak we ate chocolate two women my chocolate. We drank each other we drank all the beer we drank all the wine we peed outside. We got high on skin and cum and sweat we got high on pot. We came in waves we ran out and into the waves."

Poetic and cutting. I had a hard time picking a quote for this one because you just have to read the whole thing. Quite different from the rest of the pieces in the book because it's much less intellectual. I was glad for it.

***

Looking back, I've written a blurb for more than a third of the pieces in the book and I could easily do more. Every page is well worth reading. I highly recommend it.

For more information about the book, you can visit this page. Here's the book trailer:

Going Down

"Taking in the essence, taste, smell, and sexy up-closeness of a lover is a powerful aphrodisiac that affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally. Once you have your lover in your mouth, the heat of desire, passion, and lust focus, tying your arousal directly to them." -- from the description of the forthcoming Going Down anthology, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel

My story, "Getting Something Out of It," will appear in this book. You can preorder now at Amazon, or you can wait until the book is out and pick it up at your favorite local purveyor of erotica. Expected publication date is May 15, 2012.

I'll post an excerpt of my story closer to time.

Here's the table of contents:

Pretty Dull Charlotte Stein
Milk Moustache Jacqueline Applebee
Lavender Cynthia Hamilton
Etiquette Sylvia Lowry
Stacked Logan Zachary
Sucking Casey’s Cock Shanna Germain
Getting Something Out of It Annabeth Leong
Bubble Dance Jeremy Edwards
Seriously Jeanette Grey
Shuck It Dusty Horn
Dover to Victoria Station Roxy Rogers
Blush Mary Borsellino
Clean/Dirty Lucy Felthouse
Trimming Tenille Brown
Your Body is a Temple Neil Gavriel
New Additions Rachel Kramer Bussel
Do You Speak French? Chrissie Bentley
Close Your Eyes Viktoria Michaelis
Snowjob A.M. Hartnett
The Perfect Shade Elizabeth Coldwell
The Thousand-and-One Ways Graydancer

Crushing with the Girl Crush authors

Hey, guess what? The Girl Crush book is out! Not only should you immediately pick up this collection of shatteringly hot lesbian erotica (which includes my story, "Running Away and Running Home Again"), but you should head over to the official website, where editor R. Gay has been posting fun and sexy interviews with the Girl Crush authors.

You can see my interview here. Here's a teaser:

I write what turns me on. If I’m not getting wet while I’m writing a sex scene, I delete it. I’m very demanding as a reader of erotica. I want it to make me feel something and care about the characters, but I also want to have an orgasm while reading it. Sex scenes hot enough to make me have an orgasm always have a key image that gets me going. I try to make sure my sex scenes have that image and linger on it long enough to really fix it in the reader’s mind.

Don't stop with my interview, though! Check out what the other authors have to say, and please consider picking up the book. As a bonus, each interview includes an excerpt of that author's story, so you can get a good sense of the book's makeup from checking out the interviews.

The promotional efforts don't stop there, however. Rumor has it I'll be publicly reading from this story. More details once I stop blushing...